Not good. GREAT.

Okay. Back for the very first time. It's been awhile since I posted but I have things to do. No, really. Been managing an Congressional campaign. Yep. Big timer *brushes shoulders off*

The campaign is going well. Really well. Out of the 7 campaigns that my organization is running, our campaign continues to lead the pack. Or come in a close second. My team is super legit and their work ethic cannot be matched. So, predictably, here comes my neurosis.

My work wife and I got into a fight because I was complaining about my numbers. "It's really annoying to listen to you complain about your numbers when you will hit them. You have the capacity. We do not. Shut up."

Well, predictably, this made me mad. Yes, I am nutty (and more than a little annoying). However, I am me because I don't accept what is "good." I always want to be GREAT. All caps GREAT. I'm that person who campaigns as a lifeblood. As a way to remember that this country is amazing and we are so incredibly blessed to be part of this nation. I have something to prove.

Sidenote: If I'm honest, I'm also mad that everyone else doesn't have my numbers. They have better universes, better lists, better organizers, easier turf. Why the H aren't they surpassing me? It's super frustrating to believe that you're the only one doing the work that has to be done.

So, yeah, we are putting up big numbers. And our race is neck & neck. Which means, I want it all. With a little over 60 days left, it isn't enough to simply have the best numbers for the campaign. I want the best numbers period. Ever. I want to be the model by which everyone else is trained. I want my opponent to be so thoroughly intimated and crushed by our ish that he will never again have the audacity to say that Tea Party values "are pretty much what my values are too."

I am going for glory.

Yes, I understand what wifey is saying. Yes, I am an annoying human being and yes, my ego is too big for most rooms. But let's be clear. I am running against myself. My greatest motivation is internal. Having better numbers than everyone else does not make my race any more likely to go be in my favor.

I don't want to be good. I want to be GREAT.

I mean is really boils down to one thing. That we will do everything - and do it better than everyone- and still not win. And that is the only metric that matters. If we don't win, then I have wasted 9 months of these organizer's lives, thousands of dollars and a lot, a lot or effort.

And that is my crazy. I've only ever worked in politics, so my skillset is specific and often intangible. I actually believe that I'm only as good as my last race. Who wants a racehorse that doesn't bring home glory?

And so it begins...

You are probably wondering why I haven't created a blog before. Or maybe you're not. I don't really care, I'm gonna tell you anyway. I find these things to be self-indulgent and ridiculous. But then I realized that I have a lot of conversations with myself. And sometimes they are convos I wish others were a part of. I'm on Facebook (and can't really stand it) and addicted to Twitter but can't always say everything I want in 140 characters. And that takes us to this moment. My version of self-indulgent and ridiculous is bound to be a little better than other versions... or so my ego tells me.

So, I will blog. Not very often and probably not about things you really care about. I travel a lot. I meet some of the best people in the world. And I make complicated look, well, complicated. I'm inspired by folks who can be transparent and am hoping that this will take me a little closer to being who I want to be.

Don't read this if you are easily offended, don't believe that people can make change or are related to me. Only kidding about that last part... sorta. I'm only looking out for the real life relationship I hope we will be able to maintain once you find out that my last snarky comment towards you wasn't really meant to be snarky, just true.

Let's start this journey. And who knows? Maybe Bravo will finally give me my own reality TV show.